On February 16, 2024, the world bid farewell to a true pillar of spiritual strength and compassion, Max Mathews. Max, affectionately known as Mummy Max or Sister Max, was an early disciple of Lama Zopa Rinpoche and Lama Yeshe and a foundational member of the Kopan Monastery and FPMT community. Her journey from being a school teacher, gallery owner, and fashion designer to becoming an embodiment of guru devotion and generosity, is a testament to the transformative power of the Dharma.
Mummy Max: Spreading Love, Kindness, and Ice Cream . . .
Our community of The Buddhist Center — Thubten Norbu Ling in Santa Fe, USA, knew Mummy Max as an eccentric, cheerful, energetic and always elegant lady. Her little apartment, adorned with images of lamas and historic artifacts, became a sanctuary where stories from the past flowed as freely as the huge portions of ice cream she sometimes served us for dinner.
Beyond our dharma community, Mummy Max touched the lives of her neighbors and caretakers, offering guidance and support to those in need. Her ability to cultivate a healthy, balanced mind helped some of her friends overcome life’s challenges and break free from unhealthy patterns. One of Mummy Max’s neighbors shared with us that she helped him to realize that he needed not to succumb to anxiety and depression – by developing an even, balanced mind, he was able to break away from a lifelong addiction. Mummy Max embodied the teachings she revered, radiating love and kindness wherever she went.
The Final Days: A Peaceful Transition
As Mummy Max celebrated her 90th birthday, little did we know that her journey on this earth was nearing its end. In her final days, the volunteers from The Buddhist Center took turns by her side, reciting Medicine Buddha Puja, The Eight Prayers to Benefit the Dead and Dying, The Vajra Cutter Sutra and many others. Messages, help and encouragement kept coming from around the world, and we spent the days doing practice, playing Lama Zopa’s mantras in the background and showing Mummy Max pictures of the lamas and holy objects.
Although weak, she was clear and attentive, holding our hands and sharing big smiles and hugs, whenever she woke up. She did not display any sign of pain, anxiety, or discomfort until her last breath. Her transition from this world was marked by a profound sense of peace, leaving those by her side feeling connected, uplifted, and inspired.
When Mummy Max stopped breathing, we were prepared. We managed to identify a local funeral home, which respected the Tibetan Buddhist customs. She was able to remain undisturbed in her apartment until she concluded her final meditation. The atmosphere in the room was clear and vivid, and Geshe Tenzin Zopa said that there was no doubt that Mummy Max was in the clear light meditation. At that time, we did practice in her room day and night, dedicating for her most fortunate rebirth. After two days, Geshe la confirmed that Mummy Max’s meditation came to an end.
Geshe la recited the Guhyasamaja Root Text and other prayers recommended before the removal of the deceased person’s body. Before Mummy Max’s worldly remains left the apartment, she was turned 3 times clockwise. Geshe la explained that according to Tibetan customs, sending the body off is like losing a precious gem and turning it three times allows for the precious energy to be preserved in our world system. Geshe la also checked for the best day suitable for cremation, which the funeral home agreed to honor.
Gratitude, Inspiration, and a Feeling of Connection
The Buddhist Center community in Santa Fe emerged from this experience with a sense of purpose, true human connection and renewed vigor to practice Dharma. After all, Mummy Max was a Westerner just like us, and she managed to take the essence from her perfect human rebirth and gain realizations, which allowed her to pass away in the most perfect way. If she could do it, so can we! We are proud to be a part of the FPMT family and of the Thubten Norbu Ling community. Mummy Max’s legacy lives on in our hearts, reminding us that through love, compassion, and sincere practice, each of us can transcend the limitations of our human existence.
As we reflect on Mummy Max’s life, we extend our deepest gratitude to our resident Geshe Thubten Sherab, who was one of Mummy Max’s heart teachers, Geshe Tashi Dhondup, Geshe Tenzin Zopa, and all the volunteers and supporters who selflessly dedicated their time and resources to ensure her peaceful and meaningful transition. Their unwavering commitment to her spiritual and physical well-being is a testament to the bonds of family and community that unite us all.
Testimonials
I saw Mummy Max before she passed away, when she was nearing her death. I had a chance to witness her very obvious realizations, her unshakable faith and conviction in her Gurus. She very much actualized the guru yoga. When we reflect on her journey, even in the initial stage, we can see that she had this huge merit from the past accumulation. She had the wisdom, natural inborn wisdom to be able to submit herself completely under the refuge of perfect gurus for more than 50 years or her life or maybe even more. For all this time, she remained steady in her practice, especially Guru yoga.
Geshe Tenzin Zopa
Oh my
Another Dakini just got her wings.
What great gratitude we owe to her for us all even being here and knowing one another in these elderly years of our life.
Soooo much gratitude.
I can just imagine her bardo dilemma: “which ever Pureland you like dear. Your choice”
Thank you Sister Max.
Sooooooo much. ❤❤❤??
Tom W.
Geshe Nawang Dargye, once said in class at the Tibetan Library in Dharmasala, that when Mummy Max passed, she could go to any Pureland of her choice from the merit she accumulated from supporting Kopan Gompa for many years.
I mentioned this to Mummy Max, and she said, “I do not want to go to a Pureland, but rather return here to help the Lamas with the Dharma.”
Harry
I am very grateful for the profound friendship I had with Mummy Max. She was quite a force to be reckoned with and lived her life for others right to the very end.
I was fortunate to be able to spend more time with Max a couple months ago. She was full of life and still trying to work out how she could make money to support the Dharma.
I’m going to miss you Mummy Max, my most perfect teacher.
Steve Nadeau
Sister Max lived in my house New Delhi for over a year when she started her Garment business
if you ever want any information about her and those times which were truly wonderful I would be glad to help
feel free to contact me. I’m including a picture. If i can